A video I made of the girls time with us

https://youtu.be/LIbK4ZLp0K0

The End (?)

Unfortunately the twins left again. In September they came home from school with 3 police officers. They had told the police that they “didn’t feel safe here”. This is crazy... as our home has been a very safe and caring place for them, and they were very happy just the day before! This is the third time the twins have left, and the second time they have made false accusations. We suspect all this is related to the twins difficult past.

They have returned to Colombia. Life is hard there, and we heard that Mayra will be going to Minnesota to live with a friend. Unfortunately the friend situation is not good, as we have heard about substance abuse, pregnancy, abortion, and more. A couple years ago the friend had suggested that the twins kill us to get an inheritance, so we recently disinherited the twins for our safety.

Sadly, we have decided to limit our relationship with the twins. Their false allegations against us are too dangerous  (and last spring they told me that their biological father is imprisoned due to false accusations by their sister) - what might they dream up next? It is heartbreaking as over the past 4 years I had expended so much time, money, and emotional energy into them - and truly adopted them in my heart. I worry about them constantly, but right now I can’t accept the risk.

Note that although some of the teen adoptions from Colombia have failed terribly, others have succeeded. Some of the other kids appreciated their families, finished high school, and have gone on to college. So please don’t take our failure as an excuse to not help a child or teen. We will continue to help children and young adults in Colombia and closer to home. If even one child can succeed it is all worthwhile!

I have attached the last photo I have with the twins. 💔

They are back!

As we hoped, the girls have returned home. Their pursuit of 18 year old independence did not work out well, and they are looking forward to resuming school. I’m delighted to have them safe at home. Every day is a new “adventure” with adopted teens. We keep trying and hope for the best.

Breaking the cycle of poverty is incredibly difficult. The children of poverty are so indoctrinated to it that it’s hard for them to break away.

3-1/2 year update, bad news...

A month age, just a few weeks after the girls turned 18, they quit school and left our home. Rosio returned to Colombia and is staying with a friend’s family, and last we heard she has no money and no job. Alejandra is in St. Paul, Minnesota working as a maid. Third-hand (mis)information suggests she might be hanging out with some unsavory people.

It is very disappointing that the story has gone this way, as my original goal was to help two kids get a good start on life. Yet they are exactly where they would have been had they aged out of an orphanage... no education, no job skills, no money, and no family (not really, as we will always be here for them). I’m hoping that this is not the end of the story. They might eventually grow up to realize the opportunity we gave them. They might come home to finish High School and go on to college or trade school when they realize their current path is not successful.

I know they understand that I love them as my daughters, yet their prior history prevents them from trusting the very people they should be trusting.

I’m asked if I regret adopting the girls... the answer is no. I had to try, otherwise these kids had no chance for a decent life. And I still hope this story isn’t over.

We need to keep trying. Even if only one child can be helped, it will have been worthwhile.

Also, I’m assisting three other kids through a small program in Gachancipa, Colombia.

Two Year Update

Wow - it's been two years already! A very challenging journey, but I am delighted to report that the girls are now doing great.


Looking back the biggest difficulty was developing trust. Kids with a difficult background have learned to not trust adults, especially those in a parenting role. The distrust was embedded right in their core being. They were certain that we were against them, going to harm them, and that anything nice we did for them had an ulterior motive. It really has taken the better part of two years for them to understand that we really do love them, and would never intentionally harm them. We learned to support the girls no-matter-what... such as not assuming that school problems were the fault of the kids, but instead approach the school on how they can better help the girls. I tell them I love them many times each day, and show it with kind words, helping them whenever I can, and trying to say "yes" to kids who had only heard "no" their whole lives.


I credit much of my learning to David Little of Imago Hearts. They are religion-based, and I am non-religious. Yet their personal experience and training in working with adopted kids has proven extremely valuable.


The girls are behaving pretty much like "normal" teens now (we all know what that means!) They are trying their best in school. The sweet kind kids that have been buried behind a hard shell are coming forward. I am delighted to have them as my daughters!


I recently brought the girls camping in our Airstream travel trailer, if that counts as "camping", on the north shore of Lake Superior. We hiked the trails along the Cascade river, Gooseberry river, Tettegouche river, Split Rock Lighthouse, and shopped in Grand Marais.



Next week we are going on a cruise ship from Texas to Honduras and two stops in Mexico. I want to share as many adventures as possible with them during the short time until they become adults.


This has been the hardest thing I have ever done. It has also been the most important thing I have ever done. And now, the most rewarding!


I hope that others will consider adopting an older child (or two!).

5 Month Update

As expected, adopting teens comes with all the usual teen challenges - plus some. But we love the girls dearly and are doing our very best for them. Last week was spring break, so we decided to bring the twins and their two delightful friends Mayte and Priscilla to Walt Disney World. We had a great time. It was especially fun for us to watch the four girls experience Disney for the first time. The photo below shows Mayte, Priscilla, Rosio, and Alejandra (left to right) at the China pavilion of Epcot.

One Month Update

One Month Update

 

We have been home for a month. The girls started 9th grade and have made a few new friends (especially two boys, of course!). We have enjoyed time with the kids for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

The girls are so much fun to have around! Yet as expected, we have some teen challenges:

• They love junk food, but dislike most everything else
• Living in an orphanage provided structure, but not much one-on-one attention. I suspect they lived as "us against the world" before, so the idea of a family is still new. They do not always consider the effect of their behavior on others and are not accustomed to parental oversight.
• I made the mistake of buying them cell phones which they spend way too much time texting and playing Spanish music and movies - slowing their English progress. The phones have now been temporarily taken away by their evil parents.

But overall, they are delightful girls. We have brought them to the Mall of America amusement park, the Minnesota Zoo, and ice skating. Their favorite activity so far is skiing. Here are Rosio, Kim, and Alejandra skiing at Hyland Hills on Sunday:

 

Epilog

This is the end of our trip to Colombia, yet it is the beginning of a new life for our two wonderful teens. In retrospect:

• Governments take kids away from bad situations with an implied commitment to find them a new family who will love and take great care of them.
• They often fail at this. Kids age out of the system, the girls become pregnant and the boys end up in prison - the foundation for repeating the cycle.
• Someone should do something about it.
• "It's too expensive to adopt a child" - true! But up to $13,400 per child is reimbursable through the US Federal Adoption Tax Credit
• "I'm too old (or too young) to do this"...  You only need to be 25+, and I'm almost 60!
• "The older kids are defective"... the kids may have some challenges as a result of their past, so they need help from caring adults - they need a family
• Why adopt a foreign child? Because kids don't get to choose their parents or their country. They all need a loving family.
• Why not adopt an American child? Okay - do it!
• Teens are a PITA - correct! But they bring energy, joy, and purpose to life.

Enroute

Made it through Emigration in Bogota and Immigration in Ft Lauderdale, FL. This is when all the work for the past 11 months pays off... all documents were in order. Now we are waiting for a delayed flight to MN. But the kids are having fun playing with a little Vietnamese girl so the time will pass quickly.

The flight from Bogota:

Mayra's bear safely belted in:

New little friend:

Heading Home!

We received the visas today and will fly home tomorrow. We arrive at 12:22 am (technically early on 11/22) on Spirit flight 596 from Fort Lauderdale. No time to write now, must get ready to go!

Edit: I have a few minutes now... We expected to get our appointment at the US embassy on Monday 11/23, especially since the embassy was closed to visa applications today. But for some strange reason they asked us to come in today at 9 am. We were the only people there, in a waiting area that could seat hundreds. They asked a few questions, captured the kids fingerprints, and told us to come back at 3 pm to pick up the visas! Usually this takes another day.

Then we went to visit San Mauricio again, the orphanage where the girls lived for the past few years. The girls got to visit with all their friends, and say goodbye. This was very important to them, so we made it happen. We spoke with the counselors who have worked with the kids over the years, which was very helpful. Also, we toured the facility... although clean and functional, it is very primitive. Very basic living conditions, almost third world. No photos, they would only make you feel sad. I was nearly in tears just being there. However, the staff seems very kind and the overall environment was much quieter than where we have been living in Bogota. We met many of the girls friends, and lots of other kids came up to see us and say hello. The children are beautiful, friendly, and inquisitive. One sweet 12 year old girl named Nicole had a pretty smile and was excited to learn some English from us - if it weren't for the paperwork nightmare I'd bring her home too! There are some great kids waiting for a loving family!

Then we drove back to the embassy to pick up the visas... but the guards would not let us in! They kept saying the embassy was closed and nobody was there, despite our appointment card clearly showing the date/time of our meeting. It took 45 minutes of phone calls to finally find someone to insist that the guards let us in. Then we learned the visas were waiting on approval from Washington DC. We waited until 4:45 when the approval came through and they issued the paperwork, just 15 minutes before the embassy closed!

Finished! After nearly two years of work, we are ready to return home with the kids.

Back at the apartment I searched the Internet for good flights, both in terms of times and price. Spirit  Airlines is the only reasonable choice for tomorrow - so I quickly purchased tickets.

It has been an excellent adventure, but we are all ready to go home. I'd like some breathable air, from both altitude and pollution perspectives! It will be nice to be speaking English again too. The kids are excited to see their home, play with the dog, make new friends, and start school.

Visit to San Mauricio

Today we needed help from San Mauricio, the orphanage where the girls lived for the past few years, to update some paperwork. Unfortunately most of the kids were gone on a field trip to a park. We were able to meet some of the staff, and it was clear that the girls have a great relationship with the people who work there. We also saw a few of the beautiful children - I wish we could take a few more home with us!

The upper bunk was Rocio's bed:

The lower bunk in another room was Mayra's bed:

The facilities are basic, but clean and okay.

We will try to visit San Mauricio again either Friday or Monday so the girls can say goodbye to their friends. One of their closest friends is not there on the weekend.

We completed more paperwork today including updating a bank account, obtaining records from the doctor's office, and retrieving the English translated copies of the sentencia and birth certificates. We have an appointment with the US Embassy tomorrow morning to begin the visa process. It may be completed on Monday, allowing us to fly home as early as Tuesday. I cannot purchase tickets until the visas have been issued, so they will be last minute. It's looking like Spirit may have the best pricing and flight times, even with their crazy fees.

Camp of Dreams 2015

Thank you for your interest in our adventure! The blog has been viewed 3,200 times in the last few weeks.

I hope your interest can extend to support the Colombian children who visit the Minnesota "Camp of Dreams" starting next week! The following email was sent by from Marcia Abel last night:

On Monday November 23, 2015 - the Pizza Ranch in Andover is hosting a Camp of Dreams Fundraiser. That evening - 10% of the proceeds and 100% of the Tip Jar will be donated to Friends of FANA, MN to help offset the expenses of Camp of Dreams.

Pizza Ranch has an incredible buffet filled with numerous kinds of pizza, a second buffet with fried chicken, potatoes and vegetables and a wonderful salad bar - and the price is family friendly!

November 23 - 5:00 to 8:30
Pizza Ranch
13797 Jay St NW, Andover, MN 55304

Thank you for your support - and for getting the word out about our kids who are looking for a forever family.

The Camp of Dreams Committee

Passports

Today we obtained Colombian ID's for the girls. The line was long, and the process took over an hour. The photos I bought last weekend were the wrong size, so we had to get new ones - but that only added 15 minutes to the process.

With new ID's in-hand we went to obtain their new passports. The line of people extended outside the building, down the block, and back again. It took an hour just to get inside the building, where the line wound through stanchions for another hour. We finally got to the end - only to receive a number. Again we waited for more than an hour to be called upstairs to meet with an agent. They reviewed our paperwork and took photos.

Tomorrow we will pick up the completed passports, and bring copies to the doctor's office so they can prepare their final paperwork for the US Embassy. In addition we will obtain papers from  ICBF, the Colombian Child Protection department.

Kim returns home on Saturday, and is back to work on Monday. It's looking like I will fly home with the girls sometime next week. I will stay home with the kids for a couple weeks before returning to work, then Kim will stay home with them until school starts after the new year, all to help them transition to life in the USA.

Relaxing weekend, with a Monday holiday

Not much to report, and no new photos. Yesterday I got some passport photos of the kids, which are needed for various documents coming up. We took the kids out to a Colombian restaurant tonight, and played with a ball. Early to bed tonight as we must get going early tomorrow for an 8:30 am appointment to get their Colombian ID cards.

I like cars and other mechanical things, so I notice the different vehicles here. Lots of Renaults, Kias, and Hyundais - but mostly different models than we see in the US, generally smaller. Also lots of odd Chinese cars. Some US cars too, mostly small Fords and Chevrolets. Many small motorcycles, with the most common at 100-180 cc's. They scoot between traffic in ways that would be very illegal in the US. We even see bicycle taxis, and some hand pulled carts. Every inch between cars in traffic must be an inch considered wasted, because they drive very close. Horns get a real workout here. Driving on the wrong side of the street to get around traffic is common, usually if no cars are coming. Many roads are narrow, and parking ramps are close quarters. I would not want to drive my F-150 pickup in Bogota! The huge population and small streets makes for total gridlock at times. It can take an hour to go a few blocks. There must be a million cars/trucks/busses idling at once during rush hours. The air pollution is noticeable.

To us the city seems crowded, dirty, smelly, and generally an unpleasant place to live (but note that we felt similarly about our visit to Chicago in October!). Yet I know that this has been home for the girls and is normal to them. They may find our Eden Prairie neighborhood too low-density, too clean, too quiet, and too sanitized! I hope they can adjust easily.

Bowling

Bowling competition tonight, kids against the parents. Two-out-of-three games wins.Winners get a bag of chips.

 

Mayra:

 



 

Dan:

Rocio:

Guess who won? I blame it on the altitude... less wind resistance on the ball than I had calculated. You believe me, right?

Birth Certificates

 

Yesterday started with obtaining new  birth certificates for the kids. We brought the Sentencia documents to a Notary. Notaries here are different than those in the US, apparently they are the record keepers too. It took a couple hours of filling out forms and waiting - upon which we received birth certificates showing us as their parents. During the wait time we walked to a bank where we paid a fee to obtain a receipt which will be used later to obtain Colombian ID cards for the girls... another required step in the process.

 

After lunch in the apartment, Maria Teresa picked us up to drive to an outlying town in an attempt to get the kids ID cards. In Bogota we must have an appointment to get the cards, but in a small town we might be able to walk up and get them right away, thus saving us a couple days. The half-hour drive to Chia took an hour due to traffic.

 

We waited about an  hour in a very small, hot, government office to meet with someone. They said they were too busy and would not issue the ID cards today. Back in the car for an hour drive home.

We are trying to get the girls to eat something other than candy, French fries and empanadas. Last night I took them to the store on a "mission impossible" to get something a little healthier, with some success - they like fruit! We bought watermelon, pineapple, coconut, bananas, etc.. and they were very happy. The girls made rice with beef, and rice with tuna for Mayra. Followed by lots of watermelon. They were in a great mood last night.

Monday is a Colombian holiday, so we hope to obtain the ID cards on Tuesday or Wednesday. After that we can order new passports for the kids, which will take a couple more days... hopefully in-hand by the end of next week. We then provide the passport numbers to the doctor, who can complete his paperwork in another day or so. Then we take all the papers to the US Embassy for final approval of the kids I-800 forms and issuance of visas - which will take a couple days.

Kim returns to Minnesota on 11/21, and I might be able to bring the kids back a week or so after. The twins are ready to be finished with paperwork and waiting in lines, and start their new lives in the USA. Our collie dog Piper is also a major attraction!

Today we go to Lavasport to wash clothes, followed by bowling at the mall across the street.

Familia!



The day started at the hotel where we said goodbye to the three children being adopted in Italy

 

 

Then we went to La Mesa to sign papers at the courthouse

The courthouse building has a courtyard, open to the sky above

The girls are standing at the counter where we sign the papers and wait for copies of the documents to be formalized

Upon which the kids officially became part of our family!

We then drove back to Bogota. My photos are blurry from the moving car, but this was a fairly typical home near the road.

Further up the mountain, in the clouds

So we are back at the apartment in Bogota. The kids are eating like horses... we need to figure out what is going on there, or they will gain weight.

Today we continue the paper chase. I'm glad that Maria Teresa knows the steps, in proper sequence.

Another lazy day

Kids in the pool, meals at the hotel (too far from town to go anywhere else), plus a little sunburn and some bug bites... not much else to report.

We did hear from Maria Teresa that the Judge expects to issue sentencia tomorrow! Three days vs 3-8 weeks in Bogota.

Also, we had intended to visit Cartegena during some dead time to allow the kids to swim and have fun. However we are largely accomplishing those goals here! So we will focus on completing the remaining processes and maybe get home a little sooner. 

No photos today, as they would look about the same as yesterday.

La Mesa

Yesterday we drove to the small town of La Mesa. Although the distance is not far, we travelled through a desert, over forested mountains, and down into the tropics with palm trees.  The girls slept along the way.

Mountain forests in the clouds

 

We met with the judge, which was just casual conversation with us and the girls. Signed some papers - I have no idea what they were since everything is in Spanish! The judge will review a stack of documents over the next few days, and we expect to have the sentencia signed on Thusday. Then the twins will legally be our children.

 

Next stop, the hotel. It is a small place with only 10 rooms, located far down a small dirt road. The girls immediately jumped in the pool.

This is the dining area

Mountains in the distance

 

Kids by the pool

Our room

The view out our window

 

Mayra's Bear is taking a break

 

The girls made new friends! The only other people staying at the hotel are a couple from Sardinia, Italy. They are adopting 3 adorable little girls from Colombia - ages 2, 7 and 11. Our kids are having great fun with them! A mix of Spanish, Italian, and English is being spoken around here.

My observations from yesterday are the geography of the country is spectacular. It was difficult to capture from a moving car, but the range of biomes is amazing. Especially driving down the mountain towards La Mesa.

However, the poverty is horrendous. So many people are living in substandard housing. Lot's of graffiti, and trash everywhere. It feels like Colombia has one foot in the first world, but the other in the third. We have noticed that children are always dressed nicely, especially in their beautiful school uniforms - clean and pressed. There is an emphasis on personal appearance, no matter how poor they are. I suspect there is also an emphasis on family, despite the number of orphans.

I don't expect much action over the next couple days - just relaxing by (or in) the pool, and the girls playing with their new friends.

A relaxed Sunday

No photos from yesterday... we cleaned the apartment, cooked a little, purchased swimsuits and cover-ups/shorts for the kids. Last night we watched some YouTube videos together of their orphanage and school... and the girls were in a few  of them. We also watched some funny videos, and others showing a Minnesota snowstorm.

The girls made breakfast yesterday. It was corn flour with cheese in the middle, about the size and shape of a hockey puck, fried in a pan. However, the corn flour acts like a sponge and soaks up all the cooking oil. Maybe 50% oil! Kim and I each ate one out of politeness, but yuck! We paid for it later in the day with sore stomachs. No mas!

This morning Maria Teresa will drive us to La Mesa for 5-8 days, about 2 hours drive to the west.  This is for the court process. We meet with a Judge today, and again on Friday (or next Tuesday, depending) for the "sentencia" - the court order making the adoption final. They will officially be our daughters! We still have a few weeks of other paperwork to do - something with their birth certificates, passports, visas, and I don't know what else. Lots of running around between government offices, both the US Embassy and various Colombian entities.

We have been together for 2 weeks now, 24 hours/day. The girls are sweethearts, with the usual 14 year old kid stuff. They desire too much candy and even more junk food than I can stand. They don't want to go to bed at night, and don't want to wake up in the morning - all as expected for their age. I continue to be amazed at how close they are to each other, holding hands while walking, playing together nicely, and sharing their things. Yet the girls have different personalities, and a few differing likes/dislikes. They continue to be very protective of their new parents, a situation that will reverse when we get back to Minnesota!

Most families only want to adopt small children, and I can understand that to a degree (oh the joys of midnight feedings, trying to figure out what's wrong when a baby is crying, and poopy diapers). They believe the older kids are "defective" - a product of the problems that led them to become orphans. Yes, all orphaned kids have experienced trauma which will affect them. This just means that they need a family even more. Although we have not seen unusual feelings or behaviors from our girls yet, we know they need extra understanding, reassurance, care, and love.

I hope that someone reading this will consider adopting an older child. Try volunteering at "Camp of Dreams" coming up later this month in the Twin Cities. You will meet some delightful children and have a great time. And the coldest hearts will melt!

Colombian Theme Park

Yesterday afternoon the kids decided to make pancakes. The pile of mush was made by Mayra and all the round ones were made by Rocio - including the one "proper" pancake on Maya's plate.

 

Today Jorge brought us to a theme park/zoo to the west of Bogota called Parque Jaime Duque. It was raining in Bogota, but nice all day at the park. On the way there he stopped at a garden store to buy some small trees. He likes to plant trees all over - quite the environmentalist. This is the store:

Photos at the Parque Jaime Duque amusement park/zoo.

Rocio borrowed my camera. We have dozens of photos of squirrels. Did you want to see them all? Maybe not.

The kids with some monkeys in the background. Rocio had never been to a zoo before, although Mayra had visited one once.

They enjoyed a large slide. This may not seem like a big thing to American kids, but it was for the girls.

Bumper cars, again. This time they got the hang of steering somewhat better than their first try at another place a couple weeks ago.

Another big slide

A motorcycle ride, pretty low key. They look like real motorcycles/scooters, adapted to function for the ride.

Cars went pretty fast, they liked this one!

The Taj Mahal, sort of. The inside is full of reproductions of famous paintings, along with paintings depicting the Colombian revolution from Spain. Jorge gave the girls excellent art, history, and natural sciences lessons, while holding their interest.

Pedal boats. They had trouble figuring out the steering at first... tiller right to turn left.

Overall they had a lot of fun.

Jorge is amazing. A walking encyclopedia of Colombian history, art, natural science... and outstanding at holding the girls interest. Another family tagged along to hear his dialog as we visited a display of insects. He should be a teacher, or perhaps a professor.