Looking back the biggest difficulty was developing trust. Kids with a difficult background have learned to not trust adults, especially those in a parenting role. The distrust was embedded right in their core being. They were certain that we were against them, going to harm them, and that anything nice we did for them had an ulterior motive. It really has taken the better part of two years for them to understand that we really do love them, and would never intentionally harm them. We learned to support the girls no-matter-what... such as not assuming that school problems were the fault of the kids, but instead approach the school on how they can better help the girls. I tell them I love them many times each day, and show it with kind words, helping them whenever I can, and trying to say "yes" to kids who had only heard "no" their whole lives.
I credit much of my learning to David Little of Imago Hearts. They are religion-based, and I am non-religious. Yet their personal experience and training in working with adopted kids has proven extremely valuable.
The girls are behaving pretty much like "normal" teens now (we all know what that means!) They are trying their best in school. The sweet kind kids that have been buried behind a hard shell are coming forward. I am delighted to have them as my daughters!
I recently brought the girls camping in our Airstream travel trailer, if that counts as "camping", on the north shore of Lake Superior. We hiked the trails along the Cascade river, Gooseberry river, Tettegouche river, Split Rock Lighthouse, and shopped in Grand Marais.
Next week we are going on a cruise ship from Texas to Honduras and two stops in Mexico. I want to share as many adventures as possible with them during the short time until they become adults.This has been the hardest thing I have ever done. It has also been the most important thing I have ever done. And now, the most rewarding!
I hope that others will consider adopting an older child (or two!).
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